workingfortheman.com


Scenes From My Recent
Performance Reviews

By M.J. Anderson

Supervisor (Sandra): "I'm giving you a verbal warning about your attitude."

Me: "What did I do?"

S: "I've heard from several people that you have a bad attitude."

M: "Which people?"

S: "I can't tell you that."

M: "Well, what did they say I've done?"

S: "You exhibited a BAD ATTITUDE. Like you are doing now."

M: "Wait a minute. You can't tell me specifically what I've done, and you can't tell me who said I had a bad attitude, but you can give me a warning about it?"

S: "That's right. Consider yourself warned."

(We're not telling you what you did, or who said you did it, but don't do it again.)

###

Supervisor (Teresa): "You exhibit negative body language in department meetings."

Me: "In what way?"

T: "You always stand there with your arms folded."

M: "There's not enough room for all of us to meet in the conference room, so we have to stand up for the entire meeting and lean against our cubicle walls. Sometimes I fold my arms. Why is there something wrong with that?"

T: "It shows you're defensive. And you have an unpleasant expression on your face."

M: "What?!"

T: "You never smile. You look bored and angry. It shows you're not being cooperative."

(I'm forced to stand up for 2 hours in an overcrowded room, my feet are sore, I have a headache and I'm bored out of my gourd -- and I'm not looking HAPPY ENOUGH for you?)

###

Supervisor (Teresa): "You refused to do something you were asked to do. You were supposed to train Tom, and you refused to do it."

Me: "I didn't refuse -- you asked if I would MIND, and I said I felt uncomfortable training somebody to do this as his full-time job. I'm just a part-time volunteer, and I felt the project manager should train him. When you said 'Okay,' I thought the subject was closed."

T: "But you REFUSED."

M: "I said I felt UNCOMFORTABLE."

T: "What's the difference!"

###

Human Resources Director (right after I have tendered my resignation one bright sunny morning): "Well, you just had to go and do it, didn't you?"

Me: "Yes, I DID have to do it. This place is insane." (turning around to leave his office)

HRD: "GET BACK IN HERE!"


M.J. Anderson works as an office manager in a 3-person financial services office. She orders out for lunch, watches TV, e-mails her friends and writes novels -- all while on the clock.

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