workingfortheman.com

I work in the I.T. support department at BFCC (Big Freakin' Communications Corporation). It goes without saying that someone is always on call 24-7 in case a bigwig gets a virus on his laptop (the digital kind - yes, I know, old joke). Well, last Christmas "Peon" was the lucky individual designated for support over the Christmas holidays. Pager nailed to his forehead, he settled back to enjoy a couple days of rest and relaxation - for surely no executive, no matter how career-minded, would be working on the days of December 25th and 26th.

The interesting thing about Peon is that he is one of the few people left who actually derives something from Christmas aside from commercia-materialism and a few much-needed days off. Believe it or not, Peon actually associates Christmas with the birth of Christ, and he and his family worship accordingly. Though I do not share his beliefs, I nonetheless respect them and appreciate his sincerity. I may not believe in God, but he certainly does, and he backs up his beliefs with action. In short, he is a decent, God-fearing (I've never liked that term - seems somehow incongruous) family man.

As the intelligent reader will no doubt have predicted, Peon was paged mid-morning on Christmas day. The summoning overlord was a high-level VP who was having tech problems at his home. Peon cannot afford a car and support his family on the pittance he is paid, so he suited up and embarked upon a grueling journey via public transit (running very intermittently on a Christmas schedule) to the home of his mighty liege-lord. Upon arrival he was curtly greeted and ushered into the den, where a petulant child (no doubt a carbon-copy of his petulant father) pouted angrily in front of a computer. The problem? The child had received a new video game from Santa (not the lump of coal he no doubt deserved), and it would not run! Aghast at the inhumanity of this petty request for service on the holiest of days, but being a dedicated and hard-working guy, Peon gave it his best shot. Bottom line: the system did not have enough horsepower to run the game. His explanation of this to the VP was apparently unsatisfactory, as he was then blasted for incompetence by the angry executive. The veep insisted that the computer was only 2 years old, and certainly should run the software in question. Well, anybody who works with computers knows that 2 years of computer time is a vast gulf, and the latest, hottest games usually require newer hardware.

Peon was dismissed (from the veep's home, not his job), and he bitterly set out on the long journey home. After the post-holiday return of all the wage-slaves to their cubicles, Peon cited the issue in a couple of memos/e-mails to the various powers-that-be. Result: for daring to question, he was written-up and permanently assigned the glorious task of formatting new computer systems. Surprising? Not in the slightest. After all, we exist to serve their whims.

Blair S. is a former musician who traded in his guitar for a steady paycheck and the joys of the corporate cubicle.

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