workingfortheman.com

Saturday, Jan. 1, is NEW YEAR'S DAY. We got screwed on the very first day of the year. Most people did not get a day off for New Year's Day, and to be clear, a half-day on New Year's Eve does not count. In order to make up ground and turn around the negative way in which this year has begun, it is important to do really great sick day planning this year, and to take full advantage -- to really push the limits -- of your sick days in 2005.

Monday, Jan. 17, is MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY. Call in sick on either Friday, Jan. 14, or Tuesday, Jan. 18, and make it a four-day weekend.

VALENTINE'S DAY is Monday, Feb. 14. It goes without saying that you should make your romantically extravagant plans on company time. The key this year is to work on Valentine's Day, but to call in stick on Tuesday, Feb. 15. That way, you can stay up all night, sleep in late, and then stay in bed ALL day long to recover from and then relive the multiple ecstasies of the night before. PRESIDENT'S DAY falls on Monday, Feb. 21. Call in sick Tuesday, Feb. 22 to stretch the three-day weekend into a very presidential four-day break.

ST. PATRICK'S DAY is Thursday, March 17. A day of beer drinking is always best when it's followed up with a day laying on the couch flipping channels and watching daytime television. Consider reserving a sick day for Friday, March 18, and giving yourself a full three days to recover.

EASTER is on Sunday, March 27. Call in sick on Friday, March 25 (Good Friday), or Monday, March 28. Monday is probably the better day to call in sick, due to the family gathering Easter festivities that take place on Sunday.

Take off Friday, May 27, or Tuesday, May 31, to make the MEMORIAL DAY holiday - Monday, May 30 - a memorable four-day weekend.

No office holidays in June, but a really great month to take some sick days, given that it's the start of summer and all.

INDEPENDENCE DAY, July 4, falls on a Monday this year, so consider calling in sick on Tuesday, July 5, which will give you more than enough time to hit the road and take your boozing rampage all across this great country of ours. Now that's worthy of setting off some serious fireworks.

You've worked hard all year, so consider calling in sick on Friday, Sept. 2, or Tuesday, Sept. 6, to make the LABOR DAY (Monday, Sept. 5) holiday a four-day weekend. Technically, this is the weekend to really stick it to your boss. That's what Labor Day is all about, right?

HALLOWEEN (Oct. 31) falls on a Monday this year. Wear your costume to work, and allow all the onlookers distract you from getting any work done. It's all in the name of teamwork and morale boosting. Then, call in sick on Tuesday, Nov. 1. as a reward to yourself for being such a fun, good-natured employee.

Call in sick on Wednesday, Nov. 23, or Monday, Nov. 28, making the THANKSGIVING (Thursday, Nov. 24) holiday a five-day weekend. Use the extra time to make even more dishes and consume even greater amounts of food and wine.

CHRISTMAS (Dec. 25) falls on a Sunday this year, so definitely plan to call in sick on Monday, Dec. 26. There's a good chance your company will give you Christmas Eve off -- Friday, Dec. 24. By calling in sick on Monday, you are giving yourself a four-day weekend, helping to extend your holiday cheer and making sure you're home for the holidays for as long as possible.

NEW YEAR'S DAY (Jan. 1) falls on a Sunday. At least last year, we had all day Saturday and Sunday to recover from the New Year's Eve celebrations, which this year falls on a Saturday. So this time around, we'll only have one day for recovery instead of two. That's just not enough. Consider calling in sick on Monday, Jan. 2. Of course that means using up a sick day at the very start of the year, but the alternative is kicking off the new year pissed off and disgruntled (more so than usual) and possibly still a little drunk.

Other days to plan sick days around: your birthday, your significant other's birthday, or any vacations you currently have planned.

Be sure to find out how many sick days you have each calendar year, and plan accordingly. It is a top priority.

Archives

Main Page