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While Jim Kansas, Professor of Economics, was in Africa on sabbatical, he had a lot of pictures taken. His intention was simple enough. Kansas knew he was to teach a course on "Economic Development in the Third World" upon his return to the university, and he reasoned that showing pictures of the countries he visited to his students would better their understanding of developing nations.

It never occurred to him that his figure appeared in nearly every picture taken. But when the first day of school came, and he went ahead with his plan to show his slides, the seeds of self-admiration began to germinate immediately.

Although his lecture concentrated on the concept of economic development, his mind was elsewhere. He was noticing his figure in the pictures, judging whether or not he looked good. He concluded by the end of the class that he looked very good in the pictures. Very good indeed.

That same night, at home, he watched the slides over dinner. It was just as he was finishing his last bit of broccoli that he made the decision to show the slides in class again. His rationale - there were important things he forgot to mention. The real reason... Well, he simply wanted to see himself on the screen with an audience there to admire him.

Strangely, Kansas' desire to show the slides persisted. Thus, he continued to show them. His students, at first, simply thought Kansas was showing the slides for a visual effect, and assumed his lectures would soon entail subjects other than his trip. But they soon realized that the only thing changing was the amount of time the professor spent discussing himself.

During the first few lectures, the professor would introduce slides in this manner: "Here I am at a small village where there wasn't much food. Even though they have enough land to produce a plentiful harvest, they don't have the technology to use the land properly." But soon, the same slides were introduced like this: "Here I am at a small village just as hungry as can be. I was so hungry, I was getting thinner by the second. Look at me. Just look at how thin I am..."

At that point, some of the students went to the Head of the Economics Department to complain about the peculiar situation. One of the students supplied an example of the professor's digressions: "A person in pictures with him, who he used to identify as 'villager,' is now introduced as 'Chief Economist of Africa.'"

Professor Kansas was promptly called in by the Head of the Economics Department. At the meeting, the Head of the Econ. Dept. got right to the point. "Jim, I'll get right to the point," he said. "Students have been complaining about the slides you've been showing and lecturing about."

Kansas's reply: "Really? Gosh. I wonder why? Anyway, I know I had you over for dinner a couple of weeks ago and I showed you my slides, but I'd like you to see them again..."

Professor Kansas was promptly put on probation.

Sadly, the professor's probation became unemployment - He simply became too involved with his slides to worry about anything else. And although it's only rumored, reliable sources claim that to this day, you can find Professor Kansas at various shady downtown San Francisco motels showing his slides to anyone he can get up to his room.

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