workingfortheman.com

As those who work in offices know, there are many things lurking about that must be avoided, and occasionally, certainly more rarely, things that must be sought. The three stories below reveal how the water cooler can help in these efforts, whether it's escape or contact that you are seeking.

The Creepy Guy
"There was this creepy guy from the marketing department who was always coming over to my desk. He'd get off the elevator, and then saunter over. He'd start some lame conversation, and he was always hinting about how maybe the two of us should go out together. Gross! It got so bad that every time that elevator opened, I would look over to make sure he wasn't getting out. If he got out of the elevator, and started walking towards me, I would grab my coffee cup and head towards the water cooler. I'd walk right past him, quickly, so he didn't have time to start up any ridiculous banter. People like this don't really get the message, so I found myself getting up and going to the water cooler quite a bit. But it was worth it. That guy was really creepy."

The Cough
"In my last job, the duties of my position were split with another person. We both had the same title, we both did the same kind of work, and our cubicles were side by side. We weren't really competitive with our actual work product. We could care less, really. But we did care about the kind of work we were assigned. Some of the projects were interesting, others were absolutely mind-numbingly boring and tedious. Naturally, we did what we could to get assigned the better projects.

"But our boss, a very busy man, would usually just randomly pick one of us to work on a particular project. As he was explaining the project to both of us, he'd pretty much decide on the spot which person would get to actually do the work. It was one of those eye contact things. Whoever he happened to be looking at when he reached the time to assign the project would most likely get the project.

"So, what I would do, if the project seemed really lame, is start to cough a little, like I had something in my throat. And right as he was getting to the end of his explanation and about to choose who would do the work, I'd cough really loudly, and then excuse myself to get a glass of water at the water cooler. It worked like a charm. I got out of many a lame assignment thanks to the water cooler."

The Ask Out
"There was this one woman who I was interested in at the office. The problem is that she worked in another department on the other side of the floor, and I really didn't have any reason to approach her. I didn't want to walk up to her and just ask her out, without ever having spoken a word to her before. Fortunately the water cooler is within my field of visual range. When she would be walking towards the water cooler, with a cup in hand, I would make my way over there as well. The first time, I simply said hi. A few days later, I introduced myself. Soon, it became natural to share some small talk. Within a couple of weeks, I got up the guts to ask her out. And you know what? We're still dating, going on six months next week."

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