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Publicist: Winona, you're just not happening anymore.

Winona: Whimper. Whine. Baby-like inaudible voice.

Publicist: I mean, that movie with Richard Gere... people fucking hate you. I hate you. I love you, of course, darling, but I hate you as well.

Winona: (voice like a baby): But I date rock stars. Like, all of them. And Beck, too!

Publicist: It's not enough. Perhaps we could anonymously release an X-rated tape that one of your rocker boyfriends secretly taped of you? That might help jump start your career.

Winona: (voice like a baby): Ummm, but I look fat. It would ruin everything! And Beck looks so tiny. And pasty.

Publicist: Well, you could get caught doing something illegal, not anything that would land you in jail, but something that would definitely land some headlines...

Winona: (voice like a baby): Just give me your prozac and I'll figure something out.

Winona Ryder Arrested for Shoplifting in Beverly Hills

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